Purple Everywhere

Purple Everywhere
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Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Head to the AF hospital at 8:00 a.m. for a CBC blood draw so they have time to send the results to LDS Hospital to see if I need a transfusion today.

Dale's driving, so I volunteer the two best places to park. We can either sneak through the north side of the ER to head to admitting and then down to the lab and almost straight out to the car. Or, we can walk through the front door to hit admitting first, then the lab and make a complete circle out to the car.
I start joking with Dale. You might have a serious medical problem if. . .

* You can accurately map out your local hospital, to scale, and know where each different department is located.
* You can accurately map more than one hospital.
* You know all of the shortcuts between the different departments at your local hospitals.
* You can read medical test result reports and understand what they mean.
* You are on a first-name basis with your doctor.
* You are on a first-name basis with more than one doctor.
* You have more than one doctor's phone number on speed dial.
* You've been given more than one doctor's personal cell phone number.
* You know your best vein to access for blood draws AND what size needle to suggest.
* Your personal medical bills will raise the premiums for your entire company next year.

Anyway, I'm probably slightly crazy for thinking these are so hilarious!

The test results are back by 9:30 this morning. While they are still low, they are trending up so no transfusions today.

Dale and I realize that this might be the last weekend we have for several months to escape together and get out of town, so, somewhat spontaneously, we arrange to surprise my sister and greatest-only-to-Dale-support-source with a quick visit to St. George.

Thanks to Amy agreeing to cover the organ tomorrow, we have lots of time to talk on the ride down. I almost have a small panic attack as I realize what a heart tranplant could entail. I've learned by now that "What if" questions are usually not a good path for me to head down. Got to stop this train of thought. What could we do instead?

Got it, Heavenly Father. Of course, let me involve you. Someone really wise lately counseled that we should pray for what we want and then ask for Heavenly Father's will to be done. (Thanks, Dan. That lesson has obviously stuck with me, and I'm not sure I would have been comfortable putting that plan in action before that lesson.) It's exactly what Christ did in the Garden of Gethsemane. I know that, but I've never felt quite at ease asking for my life to be made easier in some things. Comfort, peace, strength, courage--sure! I can ask for those. But removing trials or eliminating them somewhat--not so sure about that. Of course, Christ can ask. He's perfect. He would never ask for things His Father didn't agree with. I don't have that kind of confidence for my requests. But let me try it.

Heavenly Father, please, please heal my aortic valve--at least temporarily. I know thou can heal it. I know thou can postpone the heart valve surgery. I know thou loves me and wants only the best for me. I'm just not sure what that best is because my foresight is so miniscule compared to thine. I would love to be able to deal with one transplant at a time, so I can heal from cancer before dealing with the next challenge. I ask these things according to thy will and thy plan. And please bless me to have the courage and strength and peace to accept whatever that plan is.

I feel better even though I don't really know what's going to happen, but I decide to plant that small seed of faith and proceed as if the heart cath will prove that it was just a bad echo and my valve is fine. Help mine unbelief!

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