I go to work, but something keeps nagging me in the back of my mind. Oh yeah. I got to have someone look at those lumps. I'd love for someone to say, "Yup. Here's your hypochondriac sign. Don't worry."
A few phone calls confirm that both doctors are out of the office today. Now what are my choices? Urgent care? Walk into urgent care and say, "I'm worried because I think I have cancer again"? That doesn't seem the best circumstance, but there's nothing else to do really.
Okay. Fine. I call Dale and he picks me up from work about 3:00 p.m. in Salt Lake (rode the bus in that day). We drive to our urgent care facility in Lindon. That place has been so good to me, but I really don't want to go. I feel completely stupid. I just saw Dr. Wendy yesterday. Why am I seeing another doctor today?
Thank you, receptionist, for not asking me why I'm visiting today. Just take my name and insurance information and let me wait for a few minutes. I don't want to say the C word out loud.
Oh look! There's Randy, resident PA. How many times have I seen him here? Too many! And here we go again. Someone comes through the door. Not Randy though. Dr. Curtis? Oh, Randy had car trouble and will be back later. Okay.
Yes, why am I here? That word I'm dreading is said out loud, giving more credence to my concern. "I'm worried that I might have cancer again." There! Said it. Happy now? Darn. He's not patting my hand and telling me it's okay. No, he looks concerned.
Why would I think that? Because I have itchy skin and, what I think are, enlarged lymph nodes. After pushing and feeling around, he asks when my last blood work was, has his staff make a few calls to Dr. Wendy's office. He's concerned and tells me I have a legitimate concern also. He has a copy of Wednesday's blood work, and the white blood cells are elevated. He wishes they were in normal level--one less sign to worry about.
Crud! Where's my sign? Just give me my sign and reassurance, and I'll be on my happy way. Alas! Not today. They are enlarged lymph nodes. With the itchy skin and elevated blood levels, he feels I have three strikes.
Next step? Someone from Dr. Wendy's office will call me tomorrow, now that they know I'm not just making this stuff up. Crud!
Well, I have other tools at my disposal also. Dale and Brother Matt give me a blessing. Strength, Health, and Courage. Why do I feel like I'm completely running on empty on all three areas right now? Any other impressions? Dale now knows it's Hodgkins lymphoma. Great. Time to wait for the final diagnosis so we can start the fun again.
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