Sunday, July 10, 2011

I spray my hair with a water bottle. I won't wash it again because I know what's coming. I wonder at what point I'll give up. Every hand comes away with about 20 strands now.

Shoot! I shouldn't have left the blog at the point I did last night. Everything's dark in my blog world right now, but I'm feeling great and doing well. There's a time disconnect that people might not realize. There's the bishop. He's greatly concerned. I try to assure him that things are much better now.

Wow! Check out the lyrics of today's Sacrament Hymn, #169. It's one of my favorites. Was written by L. Tom Perry's son and a former stake president of mine.

And silently we pray.
For courage to accept thy will.
To listen and obey.
We love thee Lord.
Our hearts are full.
We'll walk thy chosen way.

I'm amazed I can see the notes through my tears.

Dale's speaking today. The subject is Family History. My thoughts turn to Tavia.

I wonder how her journal entries would read if she were allowed to go back and recreate them. Oooh, another interesting thought. Was she called home to help me through the BMT ordeal? The thought comforts me, but she probably has a much grander work in store. I wonder what she learned about courage and faith while on the earth.

Dan is back in Sunday School. We're in the last days of Christ's mortal life. I'm struck with another thought. Christ knows as soon as he dies that there is nothing His Father can ask that He isn't willing to do. What strength! What confidence! That's what I'm working towards--full submission with complete faith.

When Dan draws attention to me, I share my thought with the class. Once again, Dan points out that some people might go through suffering to help others learn from that suffering. Thank you for the additional reminder that I don't have to beat myself up over this.

Relief Society is fun. I can relax because it's not my week to teach. Yay! Uh oh. Cindy's another one who thinks all is currently lost in my world. Whoops! Sorry. I think I'm caught up now, so no more time warps. Tina had no idea what cancer patients go through until she started reading this blog. Sorry to burst that bubble and destroy that innocence for you.

This is my experience--this time. Every experience, even with the same disease, is different. Different lessons to be learned, a different series of events to conquer. Stay tuned!

While we're driving home from church, we leave the windows open. Jordan is sitting behind me in the van. Suddenly he yells, "Trish!" What? What's going on? "You need to roll up your window. A clump of your hair just hit me in the face." Oh the joys of chemo.