I'm sitting at home, contemplating everything we heard yesterday at the Family Conference with Dr. Daanish Hoda in preparation for my allogeneic mini (nonmyeloblative) haploidentical stem cell (bone marrow) transplant.
Tomorrow morning (Friday, February 7), I'll have a central line placed on the left side of my upper chest and then start five consecutive days of chemo to kill off some of my white blood cells to make room for the new stem cells from my sister to grow.
And I can't help feeling like today is the last day of my old life and tomorrow is the first day of my new life. Technically, maybe, I can't truly say that until next Wednesday--the day before my sister's cells are actually transfused into me. However, tomorrow is the first day of the actual regimen, so that's how I'm feeling.
And I'm more optimistic about how effective this transplant is going to be against fighting my cancer and any future outbreaks of it than I was with the autologous transplant I had in August of 2011, when my own cancer-free cells were put back in me. Surprisingly, Dr. Hoda understands my logic and agrees with me.
But I also feel like this second transplant will change me forever. That's a good thing (no more cancer for a while), but it's also a bad thing (as graft-versus-host-disease kicks in and Tressie's cells war against my own). I feel like there will be some GVHD complications that will permanently be with me for the rest of my life.
Like so many things in life, this process has amazing parallels to the gospel of Jesus Christ.
Dr. Daanish said that we'll know the transplant was a success when, after some months or possibly a year have passed, they draw my blood and no longer see the properties of my own blood but see only the properties of Tressie's blood. When they look at my blood, they'll see only her blood. My immune system will be totally replaced by hers at that point, and that transformation will heal me of cancer.
Isn't that just what this life is about in spiritual terms? I'm trying to become like my Savior, Jesus Christ. I'm trying to let Him in me so deeply that when people look at me they see only Him--what He would do and what He would say if He were still on the Earth.
And only by accepting Him and becoming more like Him can He heal me--my sins and the pains and unjustices of this world.
Something to think about :-)
Purple peace your way. You are loved Trisha!
ReplyDeleteJana sent me the following email:
ReplyDeleteWhoooo, this [message] has a subject that might trigger some NSA folk to have a closer look at it ;) Poor dears, they'll just find me telling you that I'll be praying for you tomorrow and that the Tressie's vs Trish's blood war will turn out a successful one. Also I really loved your final insight on assuming Jesus' identity :) That's a real good one.
All my thoughts and prayers will be with you tomorrow.