Okay, so I've got a few things that I need to write about; but it's been so long since some of events actually occurred. I've been feeling so neglectful of this blog that my solution has been to ignore it. Of course, that's not helping the problem, so I'm finally repenting.
While preparing a recent Relief Society lesson, I realized that Joseph Smith recorded the account of the First Vision in the Pearl of Great Price about 19 years AFTER it occurred. If he can record something so important, so vital that long after it happened, I ought to be able to record far less trivial things a few months after they happened and not beat myself up about the time disparity.
With that in mind. . .
In the first part of January (the 5th to be exact), I had an eye exam. No real news there. I've had terrible eye sight and been horribly near sighted since the third grade. When the ophthalmologist's assistant asked why my vision was so bad, I really didn't know. My only theory was that I read voraciously when I wasn't allowed to go outside (too many germs for an immune system compromised by chemo and radiation). I'd usually read with the book propped on my chest, so I theorized that my eyes simply got lazy and got used to that distance, leaving me extremely near sighted.
When the ophthalmologist came in, I asked him if there was any truth supporting my musings. He quickly shut my attempt at logic down and said that our eyes don't work that way. So I asked him why he thought my eyes were so bad. He shrugged at first, then slowly responded, "Didn't you say you had chemo when you were 7? That's what did it. I'm sure of it."
I'd never connected those dots before, and I didn't realize how pervasive the long-term effects of chemo are. Chemo ended when I was 8 years old. Less than a year later, I couldn't see the chalkboard at school and was diagnosed with myopia. My eyesight has just progressively gotten worse since then. Thankfully, it's still correctable even though I need quite a strong prescription.
That exam got me thinking and feeling even slightly depressed as I realized how much chemo continues to affect me today--not to mention what the other three rounds of chemo I've had in the past four years will present in the coming years!
This was back in January, when I was still easily fatigued and on supplemental oxygen 24/7. Just having to carry around the extra 10 pound canisters of oxygen left me weak and exhausted. Now we're adding other things on to the list of chemo-caused issues. Drat!
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