One of the things Dale and I discussed on our ride to and from St. George is how conflicted I feel between trying to maintain some balance in my present state in life.
How do I juggle working when I don't feel my best and yet being productive, helping the kids accomplish what they need to, letting Dale know how much I appreciate his support and working to let him know how much I love him, serving others, and taking care of myself? It's a question that I know many people struggle with, but the ante seems greatly amped for me lately.
I sometimes identify with Peter very well. I know I have one of those addictive personalities. I would never drink alcohol because I'd probably be instantly addicted. I think I was a spirit in the pre-existence who thought, "Go ahead and send me to earth. I'll be so good. I'll do everything you ask, and I'll work so hard. Nothing will derail me." Remind you of anyone jumping into a stormy sea and then slowly sinking?
Dale is so good for me and my general impatience and almost over-zealousness. He is a great complement, and gently points out that maybe I've shortsighting one of the important areas of my life: my team at work. I am their manager and need to ensure that they have everything they need to succeed, whether I'm at work or not.
He's absolutely right. I am feeling more strength and energy as we get further from chemo, so I head to work for a full day today. It's such a great day. I get so much done and feel a natural high from being so productive. It's something I crave--to put in a good day's effort and accomplish high-quality work. Yay!
I also call Dr. Wendy's office to see if I can reschedule our appointment for tomorrow. Conflict solved! She doesn't even need to meet with me because the PET scan was so favorable. No more ICE chemo and no more appointments with her until after the bone marrow transplant.
No comments:
Post a Comment