Thank You Friends

Dear brothers, sisters friends and family:

 I want you to know that my lovely bride has won her fight! She is now free of all pain, suffering and Hodgekins!!! She has been in the hospital receiving a bone marrow transplant to keep the Hodgekins at bay. Through prayers and fasting we knew that this was the right thing to do. The transplant went well. Even on Saturday all of the markers that they use to determine the success of the Grafting in were great. It was a success. However, last week she was getting sick and they found that Trisha has a Yeast Infection in her blood. They needed to remove her Purple Power Port and the central line that they were using to administer the medications. They then needed to raise IV's to replace them. She has spent the last week or so fighting this new infection. Saturday night she wasn't able to sleep much at all because of fluid stating to collect around her heart and lungs. They moved her down to ICU for extra help. Shortly after moving to the ICU they knew that there wasn't anything that they could do except to prolong.

Trisha and I have had many talks throughout our life together about what we would do. Trisha and I talked again and we knew what we were going to do. She was able to spend some time with most of her family and our kids. Her last message to them was "No Regrets".

 I don't have the words to give a portion of the appreciation that I have for each of you. Trisha was the writer and probably would have a couple of words for me to choose from. What I do know is that I am grateful to each and everyone of you. Your prayers, thoughts and numerous acts of charity will always be cherished. Trish would want me to tell you thanks also, and to remind you that she is happy, cancer free finally, and she is probably running. She was strong and still thinking of you and what she could do from her hospital room to be of service.

Trisha would want me to tell you that she is grateful for all of the experiences that she has had in her life. She cherishes each friendship that she has and how important you are to her. She received strength and encouragement from you and she feels better knowing she can call you friend. Her testimony of a Loving Heavenly Father and her Savior is stronger today than yesterday. She knows that Our Savior Lives and that we can return to live with our Father again with our families.

 Her services will be on Saturday, March 22. at Cedar Hills West Stake Building at 11:00am with visitations before from 9:30 to 10:30 and also Friday evening from 6:00 to 8:00pm at Warenski Funeral Home in American Fork.

Thank you for your love, prayers, support and service that you have been to my bride and my family. I pray that you will also feel the Love of our Father in Heaven and in Our Savior Jesus Christ as you think of Trisha or when you see her favorite color Purple. I know that I will always remember and cherish my life with Trish, and I will strive to be the kind of person that she tells people that I am. Trisha I LOVE you, and I miss you.

                SHMILY

Sweet Letter

I received this message from someone I used to teach in Sunday School in my last ward (over ten years ago). I think I taught the youth in Sunday School the entire time I was in that ward (about seven years).

Hello Trisha!

I've been meaning to write you for some time now, but for one reason or another I seem to have kept putting it off.

First of all, I would like to truly thank you for your wonderful example. We all go through trials in our lives. Some of us lose faith and ask, why me?. However, others face their challenges head on with courage, never losing faith in our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. You seem to me to be the latter. Two words come to my mind that describe how you seem to have faced the myriad of trials you have been called to bear: faithful and valiant.

Interestingly enough, those words also describe some of the key characteristics you instilled in me many years ago as my sunday school teacher. Although I have not been perfect, I have always remembered Trish Turner standing in front of a curious, querulous, know-it-all class and teaching us to look unto Christ in every thought, and to be faithful and valiant in all that we did. Teaching such a rowdy group of young boys may not have been your cup of tea, but I assure you that it meant the world to me. It is a lesson that I tried to teach as a missionary; it is also a lesson that my wife and I now hope to instill in our children. Thank you for that.

Also, it has been an almost daily inspiration to me as I have read some of your posts to see that you still continue to live what you taught us years ago. In my opinion, that is the definition of a true teacher. Again, thank you.

I want you to know that you are in our thoughts and prayers. Kourtney and I wish you the very best and hope that you and Bro. Howard are able to keep on keepin' on.

Warmest regards,

Matt

I'm so glad that I can help in spreading the message of the gospel somehow! It means the world to me that he remembers some of the things that I tried to live and instill. I can keep on keeping on if it helps or makes a difference to someone else.

I Told You So

It's Saturday, and I'm not feeling that bad anymore. My stomach has settled a great deal, and the pain for my line has dropped at least in half (to a level 3 now).

So why was last night so hard for me?

I'm not sure why I couldn't just let the promises for this process sustain me without having a mini-meltdown, but I feel much better this morning.

Time for another dose of Fludarabine and Cytoxan, so off to LDS Hospital Dale and I go.

We're a bit late (10 minutes), but they're still not prepared for me, especially when I demand that we change anti-nausea drugs. (What about the dexamethasone I was promised?) And we neglected to give extra fluids (saline) with the Cytoxan that was mentioned on Wednesday. Can we fix both of those things?

Sure, but it takes a while to track down the new orders.

Finally, the dexamethasone is on board, the two chemo drugs finish, and we clear the building around noon.

For the next three days, I'll just get the Fludarabine, which isn't as potent, so I should be good to go.

And no nausea or vomiting yet. And very little pain, especially compared to last night.

Hip, hip, hooray!

Maybe Too Much Optimism

So sometimes I forget how hard things are when you're fighting cancer.

I know that outcome, so I just want to focus on that and stay upbeat and positive. Everything will work out okay, so why dwell on anything else?

Well, sometimes the pains of this life intervene in my plans.

I'm sitting here, absolutely sick to my stomach. The thought of any food makes me immediately ill. And I'm throwing up violently. I feel like I did when I was seven, when all I could do after each treatment is throw up violently for about 18 hours. Yuck! Darn Fludarabine and Cytoxan.

They gave me an anti-nausea medication by IV, but I warned them that ondasetron (Zofran) doesn't do it by itself. They wanted to prove that it wasn't enough though. Drat!

And the three places where they had to cut me to place my central line are pretty painful, especially the middle one. It feels like I'm constantly being cut by a sharp knife and that knife isn't being pulled out. In fact, it's staying in and being twisted every once in while.

So I'm in pain (maybe at a level 6 for me). It's ratcheting up the pain scale as the night continues onward. But I'm nauseous and vomiting, so I don't dare take anything for the pain.

I'm not looking forward to sleeping tonight. In fact, I feel like crying and having a little pity party for myself. Darn it!

Why do things have to get so hard? They'll be better in the morning. I know that, so why isn't that enough to pull me out of my funk tonight? Why can't I continue focusing on the outcome of all this? I will be healed!